Ages and Ages - Divisionary

Ages and Ages
Divisionary
25 March 2014
Partisan

2.5 stars out of 5

If future genetic engineers ever decide to combine the DNA of Animal Collective with that of Fleetwood Mac, let’s hope they get a lot better results than Ages and Ages. I assume this Portland seven piece is an entertaining live act—with every member of the band singing along to some very sing-along-able material, how could they screw that up? Gospel music without the whole annoying religion thing would probably be a good time, even if somewhat troubled by cognitive dissonance. In short, it would take a lot effort for such a band to suck live. In the recording studio, however, where you can’t depend on stage gimmicks and crowd participation, you’re stuck with just your mediocre tunes, and no amount of “C’mon people, clap your hands!” is going to save you.

There is definitely a market for bland music. If there weren’t, we wouldn’t have Jack Johnson, Barenaked Ladies, and such as. And if Ages and Ages can find a niche for themselves in that vacuous world, good for them. Someone needs to fill the hockey arenas of the Sioux Falls of this world, right? There’s always people who want to hear major chords played on acoustic guitar and single-note piano melodies, accompanying vocal harmonies with all of the edges sanded off and all of the imagination and inspiration mechanically separated. Much of Divisionary is the musical equivalent of a Chicken McNugget: lacking much in the way of colour, flavour, or texture, easy to swallow, requiring minimal mastication or digestion, and instantly forgettable.

I hesitate to describe Ages and Ages as a novelty act—I made that mistake when Beck first appeared and have been proven again and again to have been dead wrong—but there’s a whole lot of gimmickry going on here. Indeed, a good novelty act uses liberal doses of scathing satirical social commentary, whereas Ages and Ages appear to be one hundred per cent honest and earnest in their blandness. While I suppose there is some virtue in being bland and proud (as opposed to being ironically bland), most virtues, like this record, aren’t all they’ve been hyped up to be.

reviewed by Richard Krueger